Falling inlove -is it worth it??-

Sometimes in the past, late at night, when it's too quiet to pretend, I worry if I believe in anything at all or at least in anything beautiful. I believed in change because it is permanent. I believed in pain because it is sometimes physical. I believe in anger because it can consume you. But I was not sure I can believe in either love or trust. I could not then understand these two things most people build their dreams on.

Love fails to be unconditional by that one condition itself. It ends when we fall out of it. Then, we claim it never was love because love shouldn't die. It is forever. But when it becomes a routine (like saying "I love you" for instance), love does die. Lastly, when love turns selfish, confusing and burdensome, it isn't beautiful anymore.

As for trust, it was self-explanatory until I doubted it. When curiosity gives way to suspicion, betrayal isn't far behind. For every failed judgment we ask ourselves: "Did I trust too little or too much?". It is difficult to shut up every question in favor of complete trust, only to realize too late something you could have known had you only asked. Where does love and trust start and end?

I have seen hundreds of people disappointed over un-fulfilling relationships. I have seen passion turn into poison. I have grieved with them for the love they lost or never found. We seem to love so much, but now it's gone. We ask ourselves: "Why do I feel so lonely even if he's right beside me? Why can't our relationship be more than this?".

I think all people have at one point in their life experienced the painful realization of a love unrequited. Even with all
the discouragement, even with all the well-intentioned advice from friends, falling in love is a no-going-back event. Unfortunately, time can't be reversed.

Now, falling in love in itself is doubted by people around you. They cannot feel the warmth that consumes you. They cannot ache with the turbulent and confusing anxiety and joy that grips you. They do not know that mental stress you experience trying to rationalize your emotions. They cannot believe that you do not want to be in love with a person who doesn't love you back. Oftentimes, people in love are painted as puppies following their loved ones at a distance and enjoying it. Oftentimes, people in love are misunderstood.

Who can enjoy running around with your heart on your sleeve? It's like trying to cross a tightrope and always falling into jagged cliffs because you are nervous, oh so nervous! Loving and loving without getting any response can be destructive to anyone. It is a thousand deaths every time. It's an "unmourned" for death because no one else can understand.

Love is not sustained by hope but by wishes. There's a difference. No matter how perverse, people suffering from unrequited love try to get out of it while secretly wishing that she'd give a sign to show it isn't hopeless. In desperation, unrequited lovers can even imagine signs if only to remain sane.

How can you love a brick wall? A dead end? A slavery without any sign of salvation? How foolish! How unreasonable! Unfortunately, how human too!

"Why won't he love me? What is wrong with me?", scattered thoughts echoing such pain are not exactly abnormal. Even the best-looking, best-hearted people can't always expect others to love them back. Why? People sometimes need to feel unloved by everyone so that they learn to love themselves.

There is nothing wrong with unrequited love. It happens all the time. I won't delude you into thinking that if he can't love you back he is not worth it. In fact, believe that he is. he is worth it all: the headaches, the anxiety, the embarrassment, etc. he is worth it because, like you, he needs others loving him. This sounds funny but the world is round for a reason. We are all part of a circle. If you love him and he loves someone else, just think of whom you're hurting by loving him. It's a cycle. Whose love are you not returning?

I know we can love deeply, tenderly and lastingly. I have seen such love and I have felt such love myself. I learned that, aside from love and trust, a fulfilling relationship begins when two people make their time together their number one priority. If we hope to find love, we must first
find time for loving. Many couples experienced a tragic moment together that taught them to value their time together. How we see our partners often depends on how we are than how they are. We are not audience but participant observers in each others lives.

I used to ask myself where the love between my ex-boyfriend and I had gone. Maybe it's because we forgot that we are the ones who make it. Love was not out there. It was here between my ex and me. Before, I was his as a very sweet, caring, patient, and loyal person. But now it's different. It seemed like I'm the only one who does the loving. he really changed a lot. People really do change. Our hurtful and infantile arguments illustrate how we, instead of looking for love, may look for flaws. We spent the relationship struggling to change others minds. But I realized it a little too late.

We must accept that there are many realities and learn to accept different points of view. My ex then became my eye-opener. he saw what I never could, and do the same for him. We made points of view between the two of us that's totally different from either one of us. he was there with me when it can be too cold or too warm. Both of us were restless, yearning for more than what we had, what we were. Everything was unbalanced and unpredictable. In almost imperfect setting, two not-so-perfect people shared something so very simple---a perfectly imperfect friendship---it's enough. At least he gave me something beautiful to believe in (love and trust).

I have felt so much pain during the relationship with my ex. It was hard to accept that I have loved someone who stopped loving me. Now, I couldn't help ask myself why do I no longer believe those two beautiful ideas (love and trust). Why can't I give myself a chance to be in love again? Maybe I'm just too scared. Or perhaps, maybe because I had been waiting for a perfect moment, a perfect someone, and a perfect me. maybe because I had always felt that beliefs ought to be perfect---ideal, so to speak ugh!

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, loving without being loved back is the best thing to do because feeling so much pain, I learn to heal; knowing so much fear, I learn to stand up to anything, carrying so much sadness, I learn to glorify in joy.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we're always learning, discovering and growing.

Lastly, this may be a cliche but there is someone who is right for you (and even for me), and even if he's not, he'd still be right because loving doesn't make sense until you accept it and make it real.

Love: "IF YOU LOSE LOVE, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE FAILED IN LOVE. CRY IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT MAKE SURE THAT TEAR WASHES AWAY THE HURT AND THE BITTERNESS THAT THE PAST LEFT YOU WITH. LET GO OF YESTERDAY AND LOVE WILL FIND ITS BACK TO YOU". And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

A woman on the rebound could easily fall for sweeping emotions and be made to falsely believe that she finally stumbled upon the right man when what she just found is only someone to cover up for the love she lost . A man who makes promises with words and not with actions may never live up to fulfill them. "IT'S TRUE THAT LOVE CAN WAIT FOREVER BUT IT IS CRAZY TO STUBBORNLY HOPE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN CARE OR UNDERSTAND HOW WE FEEL".

"DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME WAITING FOR SOMEONE WHO NEVER REALLY CARED ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD HAVE FELT. OPEN YOUR HEART AGAIN AND GIVE YOURSELF THE CHANCE TO FIND THE MAN WHO WOULD MAKE LOVING WORTH THE PAIN AND THE SACRIFICE." Just like anything else, our love grows weak and extent. Beyond that, it withers without any hope of recovery and soon dies.

God wakes us up in the midst of a storm to teach us a lesson. He takes away people we love, so we can learn to value love itself. He makes us cry so hard so we can see clearly when we open our eyes. He makes us bitter so we can realize that there is no genuine happiness if we think only of our needs and not of others.

Relationships built on jealousy and selfishness is doomed from the very beginning. The hardest part of losing love is letting go and moving on. Most of us cry endlessly over things that could have been but never will be.

"God allows us to experience pain to make us stronger and better persons. He will see us through the most trying and difficult times in our lives and only if we put our trust in Him we can learn to find joy in our tears and happiness in our sorrows".
THERE IS NO FUTURE IN A RELATIONSHIP OF LIES AND SELFISHNESS. It's true, there's life in love . But, there can still be life even after losing love if you leave the past behind and let your heart heal and give you the chance to find yourself again. The success of a relationship lies not only in the beauty of its beginning but in its consistency. Make a choice not on impulse but a decision based on a healthy balance of mind and heart. Let us always remember that "HAPPINESS IS NOT A MATTER OF DESTINY BUT A MATTER OF CHOICE".

"Letting go is a decision that can never be dictated on us. It is a resolve we make ourselves. Acceptance is the key to a

new beginning and time is the healer of all wounds.

"There is nothing wrong in expressing our feelings to someone we love, but "we must always be sensitive to the signals that tell us when to rationalize and be sensible." There comes a time in our lives when we would fall for someone who wouldn't be as interested as we are because his attention is focused on someone else.

Even if the storm casts its fearful shadow, there will always be light after our darkness and lonely moments. There is always a hope for those who believe. There is always a chance for those who try. "Losing someone we may not be a loss at all but a blessing because someone even more is yet to come".